THANK THE LORD

Someone finally has some answers!!
Bless you, Mark - our first ever backpocket champ - for getting to the bottom of some of the pressing issues.
Too big to slip in the COMMENTS, so he gets his own post.

1. What is the difference between sweeping handballs and raking handballs?
the parabola of the latter is longer but it's upper cartesian co-ordinates are lower.
2. Is the Swans club psychologist still employed?
has he achieved redunancy?
3. Has Guy McKenna secured Israel Folau as GC17’s marquee player in 2011?
i have no reason to believe otherwise.
4. Will the Tigers change the sash from yellow to jade for the rest of the season?
jade would be too heavy, surely.
5. Are Tyrone Vickery and Nick Natanui aware of what happens to outspoken sportsmen with dread locks in this country?
i hope not, they may change what happens to that sub-demographic if they remain ignorant long enough. change only occurs thanks to ignorance of what seems obvious to everyone else.
6. Can Geelong use more than 500 handballs a match by Round 22?
yes, but to what end?
7. Wallace. Laidley. Should we start a spin-off tipping comp on which coach is next to go?
no. it's worse than leadership speculation this endless worrying about coaches and their tenure, tenacity and tenability. enough already.
8. They’ve done Indigenous All-Stars v the Rest. They’ve done VIC against the Dream Team. What about The Oldies - 200+ gamers v The Youngsters - under 50 gamers?
great. we really need more football. and more football gimmicks. not enough of sport generally in this country or others. and the next time someone has a shot at australia for being sportsmad. at least we don't have 3 daily papers devoted entirely to football. (which country am i thinking of?)
9. Can anyone catch Kirky on tackles for the year, no, the decade?
probably not. but if he doesn't improve in other areas he should swap codes.
10. Can anyone get Catherine T to come to an actual game?
yes, rahm emanuel is apparently able to get most people to do most things.
11. Will GC17 have a meter maid as its mascot?
no - it should have an airport security checkpoint operative; they had 6 there working through my bags at coollangatta the other day. fear is job conducive.
12. Where would that leave Western Sydney?
dunno but it's logo should include a supermarket petrol discount voucher - the emblem of the burbs
13. If they can’t have ‘the G’ have the AFL thought of moving the Round 14 St Kilda/Geelong clash to western Sydney?
sure, is it pratten park where they used to play rules in the 70s here; when, i venture to suggest, no one involved in the tipping comp was watching the aussie rules segment on channel 7 on sunday mornings - when north shore and east sydney ruled the roost. single camera sweeps over picket fences at north sydney oval and trumper park. that was football. contemporary rules, let's face it, is mainly athletics, and lovely but very different.
14. With stadium deals ‘killing’ them, have underdog teams with financial struggles considered selling ‘2nd Team Memberships’ to sympathetic punters of highly successful outfits.
dunno but long term it'll take more than the draft to create a seriously sustainable democratic and competitive competition. bit like the rest of the world really.
15. Could the Collingwood coaching position for 2010 be solved in a jelly wrestle – Malthouse v Buckley?
most certainly. and the proceeds from viewing rights could contribute to solving the problem identified in 14 above.
16. Have any of the commercial networks started formulating a hidden camera show for Ben Cousins to host?
doubtless they all have, and all the cable channels to boot; with a dispute around who plays ben cousins likely to frustrate a dream here and there.
17. Why didn’t we get to see the re-break of Chris Judd’s nose in a Channel 7 Saturday night special event?
because our society is dead against images that promote, endorse or encourage violence
18. How many more games will it take for the Weagles to win outside of WA?
1
19. Has Port’s Daniel Motlop considered the possibility that he was heavily voodoo pinned after ‘that You Tube video’. He suffered an ankle injury the following week and, after only 1 full game, is now out for 2 months with a broken ankle.
your knowledge astounds me. do his people believe in voodoo or something else? what's the local equivalent? i know nothing about this.
20. Could the Eaglet (with his morning Motlops) be a backyard sharman?
no doubt. is that a deliberate allusion to the famous boxing tent family or did you mean 'shaman'? (I did ... mean shaman - tm)
21. Do ex-Roo coach Dean Laidley’s wife and children really want him to spend more time with them?
yes, there's an other gentler, less footbally, less gaunt to the brink of metabolism laidley that greets them every christmas.
22. When will the League have its first Indigenous coach?
when xavier clarke retires. heard him commentating on the weekend. that seems to be a key part of the contemporary career path.