BULLETIN > Week 2

The new Australian cricket captain, Michael Clarke, is going back to basics. Batting, bowling and fielding.

It’s always reassuring to hear an elite sportsperson articulate his or her core business. It’s easy to get caught up on the periphery of sport – stuck in the heavy traffic of reportage – the ins and outs, the head games, the head knocks, the nightclubs, the broken relationships between clubs and their lost stars. But it does one good (occasionally) to reconsider the fundamentals of the sport we become so absorbed in.

When a young cub signs up for Auskick, the three things the coach emphasises are kicking, handballing and … having fun. Not sure if the senior coaches would frame it quite the same way. Possibly, the basics of AFL cannot be refined to a simple holy triptych? For, what do you do with marking and tackling and blocking and what about forward pressure and bouncing and zoning and the hallowed one percenters like spoiling? Different players obviously have different basics. In his confessional for the Herald Sun today, Gary Ablett revealed that he hasn’t moved on that much since his Auskick days; enjoyment is the most important thing for Gaz. Lucky he’s up there in Queensland now with the sand and the sea and the sun and the meter maids.

But there’s one important basic that hasn’t been mentioned. Before the first bounce, Blood #5, Ryan O’Keefe, titillated Swans supporters with a tit bit almost as inspiring as Captain Clarke’s:

‘Footy’s still pretty basic - you’ve got to get the ball, then kick it through the goals.’

Yep, Ryan, it’s true. And obviously Round 1 is still, for all intents, a kind of jumping off the block; the season is a marathon, remember. So no need to panic that Sydney kicked 11.18 for the match against Melbourne and only managed to tie that match precisely because Ryan O’Keefe kicked … a behind. Goals, Ryan, goals. Back to basics.

I love goals. I also love to see five-bounce runs from half back full-stopped by a superb kick onto the chest of a man parked in the goal square. I love to see an inside midfielder swoop on a clearance and get the ball inside 50 in one kick. I love to see a full bodied defensive punch. I love to see any mark by Liam Jurrah or Jack Riewoldt, or even cousin Nick, for that matter, especially when he reaches between 6 arms to pluck it. But a superb mark or a dashing run does not guarantee that other great footy basic scoreboard pressure. I suspect we love goals more than anything else, because it means winning. Simple.

For the lover, the watcher, of footy, there is a simple collection of basics: Look, listen, learn. Particularly difficult to do in NSW. I armed myself on Friday night last with a series of small domestic tasks, a glass of wine and my beloved Friday night team on ABC radio – Gerard Whateley, David Parkin and the increasingly misanthropic Peter Schwab. There you have it, a nice trio of basics: Whateley (getting fluffier) Schwabby (getting darker) Parkin (the ever consistent meat between the two).

Ten minutes into the commentary, the fervour of the first quarter of Friday night footy 2011 died. The tones became sombre, and then someone was asking the nays to move to the left of the chamber. God, they’d interrupted the coverage for the announcement of a double dissolution. I waited. Something about something and something – the basics of running the country no doubt. I assumed the ABC would rectify the situation. Ten minutes later I returned from putting away folded washing. Still going. I tried to stream online but the AFL have made their new website so complicated that it moves as fast as Plugger off the mark. No luck there. So I called the ABC to find out what had happened.

‘Oh yes,’ said the tired but friendly voice at the other end. ‘The politicians own that channel so if they want to stay and talk all night, and decide to put themselves back on, then that’s what we’re stuck with until they decide to go home.’ Ah, New South Wales. (This was a day before Bazza. Don’t worry, we’re going back to basics now.)

It took me until 9.28 to find an alternative avenue into live streaming. And when normal coverage resumed, Peter Schwab was yawning, Saints Sub Brett Peake was frustrated, Adam White was discussing the gingerbread cake supplied by the MCG and the ground photographers were calling it the worst game of football they’d ever seen. Why? Because, by the end of the third quarter, the Cats had kicked 4.10 and the Saints were on 4.11. get the ball, then kick it through the goals.

At this point, the ABC crossed live to Moonee Valley where a horse called Black Caviar – ‘The Black Flash’ they call her – was attempting to win her 11th straight start on Metropolitan tracks. Jockey Luke Nolen urged her to the finish line, all the way to the title of undisputed Champion sprinter of the World. Run, run, get to the post first. And when the coverage crossed back to the MCG, another champion was finally finding his post. Jimmy Bartel kicked true from the boundary to put the Cats in front.

Pup’s announcement this week could be the kick-start many of us need to reinvigorate small slack corners of our own lives. Tipsters need basics. Which ones do you use? Injuries, match ups, ground. Or are you more of a Team, form, history kind of tipster?

And what about life?
Wake, eat, sleep?

Parenthood?
Cajole, inspire, bribe.
Motivate, encourage, yell.
Feed, wash, bed.

And writing?
Clean desk, make tea, organise pencils.
Washing up, vacuuming, oops too late.
Word, sentence, delete.

Whatever your core business, there’s a round of footy beginning now. The politicians have gone home. Whateley, Parkin and Schwab in place. Riewoldt, J is already concussed. Concussion, rooms, play.

Happy tipping!


PS.

Or if the basics just aren’t you … you might like to check this out.
Practice, Time, Power.

PPS.

Lucinda of ‘What Dog is that Coach’ fame is working on the next Coach/Dog. In the meantime, she recommends this.