GETTING TO KNOW YOU > Part 1

a space for breathing

TRAVIS

I tip … as if it is a successful business. Except that my son, a lazy worker, is currently employed by me. He is crap at his job and costs me money. All my other employers think I should get rid of him, but I can't. I love him.

My team is … my lazy working son: Fremantle.

If I were an AFL player, I would play … on a back flank. I would learn my opponents names and call them out when they were in sticky situations, so that they might pass the ball to me before they realise ... it used to work in under 16's.

My autobiography would be called: More is more ... is more!

If I could live in any city in the world … I would currently live in Paris. Stones throw from Italy, and an inspiration to the senses.

My dream job … has deadlines.

If I'm about to watch the footy on TV, I ... remind myself not to drink too much. My knee-jerk reaction is to reach for the bottle when Freo are losing.

The first thing I'll do when I wake up tomorrow morning is … smile at my fiancee ... whilst secretly thinking of the entire Collingwood team being involved in an horrific bus crash. With flames. Lotsa flames.

If I were a colour, I'd be … prejudice against other colours.

If I were invited to perform at the AFL Grand Final pre-show entertainment, I would … ask Patrick Nolan to direct it.


OMAR

I tip ... the Swans every week.

My team is ... the Swans.

If I were an AFL player, I would play ... well. (I do because I do play AFL)

My autobiography would be called ... Omar’s Life.

If I could live in any city in the world ...the city would be fun.

My dream job ... is play.

If I'm about to watch the footy on TV, I ... scream.

The first thing I'll do when I wake up tomorrow morning is ... yawn

If I were a colour, I'd be ...orange.

If I were invited to perform at the AFL Grand Final pre-show entertainment, I would ... be wild.


BERNIE

I tip … because I am….and I don’t think the locals in Melbourne will let me survive another winter without having a tipping comp.

My team is … Adelaide Crows, please refer to the above response, I plead for discretion.

If I were an AFL player, I would play … Wing, so I could at least run for my life!

My autobiography would be called … How many flights does it take to light a globe?

If I could live in any city in the world ... Melbourne! Sorry Sydney it’s really growing on me, I know she’s not a flashy as you but the rumours about her coffee are true….

My dream job …actually living the dream baby, lighting designer.

If I'm about to watch the footy on TV, I ...warm up the pies chill the beers.

The first thing I'll do when I wake up tomorrow morning is ... have a coffee – go to the Richmond markets.

If I were a colour, I'd be ... A generally misunderstood shade of architectural green grey that was popular around 2008/09 and is now living in the hope of a comeback.

If I were invited to perform at the AFL Grand Final pre-show entertainment, I would ... have to rely on my natural good looks. Oh Shit.


LUCINDA

I tip … like I play scrabble. All passion no tactics.

My team is … dominating.

If I were an AFL player, I would play … hard ball get (I don't know what that means but I love the expression).

My autobiography would be called … A Dog for all Seasons

If I could live in any city in the world … for a couple of months next year, maybe go back to Chennai for a bit.

My dream job is … maybe the job I do in my dreams but I don't dream about work :)

If I'm about to watch the footy on TV, I … get a bowl of pasta and pour a glass of wine.

The first thing I'll do when I wake up tomorrow morning is … yoga.

If I were a colour, I'd be … green! or yellow.

If I were invited to perform at the AFL Grand Final pre-show entertainment, I would … raise the bar. Somehow.


MATHILDE

I tip … pretty poorly considering how much I love and watch the game.

My team is ... the rock of my winters.

If I were an AFL player, I would play ... tight. I’d want to be tagging those bodies, wouldn’t I?

My autobiography would be called ... The World of Mum (Omar’s suggestion) My Life in Lists (my suggestion)

If I could live in any city in the world, I … wouldn’t wake up so often at 3am and wonder why I still live in Sydney.

My dream job ... involves a lot of paid thinking time.

If I'm about to watch the footy on TV, I … must be dreaming. I live in NSW for God’s sake.

The first thing I'll do when I wake up tomorrow morning is … wish that I could lie in bed all day and read rather than get the Cygnet to Auskick by 7.45. 7.45 punters!! For the love of the game.

If I were a colour, I'd be ... a dark, steely blue.

If I were invited to perform at the AFL Grand Final pre-show entertainment, I would … say no (and refer them to Lucie).